My friend Tory is dying. The same way she lives. Bravely and beautifully.
In a culture that fears death and goes to great extremes to avoid facing it, Tory is doing the opposite. She’s talking about it. Candidly. Because that’s who she is.
I want to share her with you because this is a rare and profound gift. I think you’ll be moved by this artful glimpse of what it can look like to meet death with honesty and grace.
I met Tory on a pleasant Colorado afternoon at the co-housing community where I lived at the time and she had lived years before. A mutual friend introduced us because she thought we needed to know each other. A decade later, I still feel the gratitude for our friend’s insightful and mischievous initiative.
Tory and I have shared many beautiful moments—dances, hikes, music, heart-to-heart conversations. She’s a wise being who lives vividly, with a sense of purpose and commitment to Life that is deeply loving and almost fierce. Which is why I want to share her with you.
Hiking in the Indian Peaks Wilderness with Tory in 2015.
I’ll never forget the first time I walked into Tory’s house. Her place is a Colorado cabin in the mountains outside Boulder that has been remodeled and expanded into an elegant-yet-rustic home. Dark stone counters, honey-toned wood floors, giant windows, mountain vistas, and a roaring wood stove warming the space. Earthy, spacious, cozy. I stood there, crying.
It was more than the beauty that touched me. I was moved by a peculiar and stunning sensation of being home. I have yet to figure out why her house struck me so deeply that tears began to flow. Some of our experiences in life go soul-deep and just can’t be explained. But I suspect one piece of the equation is how Tory inhabits her home. Fully. Like how she inhabits her life.
This is no small thing. Tory’s mountain spot brings her a lot of joy and takes a great deal of effort to tend—shoveling snow all winter, chopping wood, tending the fire, clearing the driveway. It’s a lot. But Tory’s relationship with that land runs deep and is central to her life. She wasn’t about to give it up for a more convenient life in town. They say how you do one thing is how you do everything and this is how I’ve watched Tory do her life—with dedication.
It’s also how she’s navigating the journey of dying.
After years of mysterious symptoms and conditions, expert doctors and countless tests, the search to figure out what was happening with her health came to an end in 2021 when Tory was diagnosed with ALS. Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis is a progressive neurodegenerative disease that has no cure. Now Tory knows what’s she dealing with and what to do about it—which is to live as well as she can for as long as she has.
Tory floating, a scene from her film “Only the Mountain Remains”
What does living well look like when you’re dying?
Tory made a gorgeous short film that gives us a glimpse. It’s called Only the Mountain Remains. I’ve watched it four times now. I weep each time. Because the film is beautiful. Because who Tory is is beautiful. Because life is so this-present-moment and my moments with my friend are nearly complete and that aches. This ache is part of life, part of loving. Losing is part of basking too—we can’t let in the joy without also opening to pain.
As I watch Tory’s film I notice her approach to dying appears the same as her approach her living: show up fully, have honest conversations, take care of yourself, surrender, love people, make art, grapple with the challenges, tell it like it is, dance, sit in awe, grieve the losses, stand in your strength, admit your weakness, and embrace the bloody mess of being human.
Tory and friends climbing a Colorado sand dune, a scene from the film
One of the things I love about this film is how Tory talks about the messiness of being human. In a world that tells us our lives should be tidy and cheerful it’s easy to feel like we’re doing it wrong when they’re not. Tory knows better.
Tory understands that showing up for life is not easy. As someone who lives deeply and worked for decades as a therapist and teacher, Tory holds herself and others with a lot of care and tenderness. She’s very clear that being human is messy and hard and we all deserve compassion. I think you’ll appreciate how this comes through in Only The Mountain Remains.
Thank you, Tory, for embracing the adventure of life so fully. Thank you for showing up for the joy, pain, weariness, and wonder.
Thank you for the ways you’ve held space for me, for blessing this world with your presence and courage, and for creating a piece of art that will live beyond you and touch those you’ve never met.
I love you.
Synopsis of Only the Mountain Remains:
How can embracing death teach us how to truly live? Is it possible to live this life in the mystical realm outside of time? The revelations in this short film by Tory Capron are her final teachings, as Tory is living and dying with ALS. A spiritual teacher for the past 30 years, Tory combines her love of the teachings and her wonder of the natural world with the creative and inspiring human body. Each extraordinary, mind-stopping scene will lift the veil to reveal that nothing is left...except everything. Resilience is woven throughout the progression of seasons, consciousness, illness, and even death as the film takes us on a journey far beyond our minds. Tory’s spoken teachings, combined with stunning visuals of human movement in unique landscapes, help to unmask what is and has always been.
Please watch, share, post, and enjoy Only the Mountain Remains, winner of Wisdom Tree International Film Festival’s 2022 short film:
May this film be of benefit to all beings,
Victoria Wolf Capron (Tory)
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I'd love the link as well Kai, couldn't find an email with it. Love you friend. Aching and living with you!!
So amazingly beautiful, and moving. Honored to see this film.