In April I entered a breakdown/breakthrough experience that many would label āburnout.ā I was utterly exhausted and in excruciating pain. Unable to work. Slowed to a stop.
It became clear that neither body nor soul were willing to keep operating in the way my mind believed I needed to. A lot of surrender happened and insight came. I tended my body, received loving support, and adjusted course to integrate what I'd discovered. By May I was recovering nicely and getting back to productivity.
Then Mothers Day arrived and I found myself grappling with enormous loss and pain in my lineage. The next day I came down with a sinus infection. Slowed again. It was time to tend my body and receive care and support from others. I resisted.
Iād already just been through this, hadnāt I? I wanted to be healthy so I could be productive, independent, not let anyone down, and have fun with my friends. What followed was more than a week of witnessing a flood of dark self-judgment thought-feelings. Eventually I found compassion for myself, surrendered to the path of self-mothering, and accepted my bodyās ongoing requirement for nurturing care.
I recovered from that sinus infection with new perspective on my body, my self, and my work. I adjusted course to integrate what Iād learned. Then I came down with the yucky cold/cough that has been circulating through our community.
So now Iām slowed down again, brewing myself medicinal teas, coughing so hard I pee my pants, watching frustration build to intense levels of anger, and also experiencing moments of profoundly sweet peace. Iām starting to understand at a much deeper level what life, business, and body have been showing me the last couple months/years/decades about p a c e .
I sense there will be more to say about this in the weeks, months, and years to come, but for today Iām going to keep sucking on throat lozenges and let Mexican road signs say it for me, so gracefully and simply.
I believe this is the invitation and absolute imperativeāfor me, for our crazily imbalanced culture, and for all of us navigating these turbulent times...
Dismunya su velocidad > Diminish your velocity > Slow down